In Loving Memory
of my Son

Dustin Joe
Ornelas

9/18/83 - 1/31/04

I rarely use the word "died". I don't believe Dustin is dead. He did leave this world and is forever changed, but to me he will never be dead. As I tried to read over this page, I realize I go back and forth from using past to present tense when talking about my son. Probably as any parent knows that has lost a child, it is very difficult to talk about your child in the past tense.

Now about Dustin:

The most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I still was in awe that I gave birth to this perfect human being. It was love before first sight. Only a mom knows these feelings.

Born Sept. 18th 1983 at Wesley Medical Center in Wichita,Ks. Actually we live about 110 miles east of Wichita in a small community of approx. 6200 people.

Due to pregnancy complications, I was life flighted by helicopter from our local hospital to Wichita immediately before Dustin was born (that is how he came to be born at Wichita).

I never ever imagined in my worst nightmares, that 20 years later, Dustin would be life flighted by helicopter from our local hospital to the same hospital where he was born in Wichita, to be pronounced dead there. (Is this some tragic weird irony?)

Dustin's father and I divorced when he was very young. Although his dad remained involved in his life, I think Dustin always had some unresolved feelings about our divorce.

Feb. 10th 2001, we were fortunate to add to our family when I remarried. Dustin got the addition of another father( who he loved and respected), and two sisters (that he could torment, but really loved) Until that time, he had been an only child, and was probably very spoiled. He was 17 , his new sister Melissa was 17 and younger new sister Kristen was 16. I say they were new sisters, but since their dad and I had dated for a few years, and the kids went to school together, they already new each other.

I truly believe with all my heart, that this was a turning point in Dustin's life. You could tell, that his family meant the world to him. He did not often show his emotions,( at least not his tender side,) but still waters run deep, and Dustin had deep feelings about many, many things and many, many people. No doubt about it, he is a people person.

What happened

A parents worst nightmare is that dreaded phone call or knock on the door in the middle of the night.

It was about 3:30am that Saturday January 31st. We woke up when we heard someone ringing our door bell and pounding on our door. My husband Bud went to the door. Dustin's friend Jr who use to be his room-mate, was standing there. I could hear voices talking but did not hear what they were saying. Bud came back upstairs telling me to get dressed we had to go to the hospital. Dustin had been shot.

Seems like it was only a few minutes and we were in the car heading for the hospital. When we got there a policeman was standing in the doorway to the exam room, blocking us from going in. We were told we had to wait in the other room. Later a doctor we didn't know and a nurse came out. They told us Dustin had a gunshot wound to the head and they did not think he had any brain activity. They asked about him being an organ donor and told us he needed to be flown to Wichita (to the hospital where he was born) for further tests, "to make sure" there was no brain activity.

I still cannot remember what all happened then. I know it took us 2 hours to drive to Wichita. When we got there we were met by the hospital chaplin. He took us to where Dustin was. The doctor confirmed our worst fear, there was no brain activity. Dustin was still on life supports because of our consenting to him becoming an organ donor.

I am so grateful, I could be there to hold his hand and touch his beautiful face. I know I saw a tear in his eye. I talked to him, even though the doctor did not think he could hear anything anyone said to him. He told us that once the impact of the bullet struck him, he would have went un-conscious and would not feel any pain. He never re-gained consciousness.

The doctor said there was nothing else that could be done and we could leave. I stared at him and told him as long as Dustin was being kept alive (awaiting the transplant team), I would not leave him.

We waited for the transplant team. We answered question after question and filled out form after form.

Dustin passed away at 1:11pm. Due to Dustin's organ donations, 3 people now are alive and living a longer healthier life. A part of Dustin lives on thru each of the 3 organ recipients. Two different people each have one of Dustin's kidneys, and another person has his liver.

The law enforcement investigation told us, Dustin's death was ruled an accidental gunshot wound self-inflicted. It wasn't an open-shut case. There was a series of inquisitions held weeks after "the accident". The investigation was finally closed 2 years later. We know there were friends of Dustins' in the apartment and in the room when the accident happened. Exactly what happened? We will never have all the information or details.

About Dustin

Dustin Joe Ornelas, a very handsome vibrant and caring 20 year old young man. He always had lots of friends and was so full of life (and yes he was mischeivous at times, ).

I never thought of Dustin as being particularly shy but never thought of him as really outgoing either. He made friends easily and would help anyone in need. If Dustin met a stranger, they didn't stay a stranger long. He also did not shy away from visiting with older people, like some young people do. He would talk to anyone and help anyone.

He loved mexican food, playing basketball, and when he was younger his favorite football team was the San Francisco 49 er's. He loved Jerry Rice. A close family friend that was like an aunt to him, gave him a Jerry Rice Jersey. It was a valued treasure. Dustin loved his 4-runner, and his dogs. His first dog we got when he was little, is Hunter, a beagle. We still have her and she is about 14 years old now.

When Dustin moved out on his own, he got a beautiful dog Lugar. We are caring for Lugar and consider him our grand-dog. Needless to say, he is one spoiled dog.

I could write about all the nice things Dustin did and the kind of person he is, or I could write about all the trials and tribulations he had overcame. Instead, all that matters, is that he was my life, and my heart. He is our son, brother, grandson, cousin, nephew and friend. He is missed terribly every day, forever loved, and in our hearts always. Dustin touched many, many lives.

Dustin had a special closeness to his grand parents on both sides of the family. He is their pride and joy. When Dustin was upset at me or his dad or didn't think we understood him, he always went to his grandparents. They always listened and knew the right things to say.

The day Dustin left this world, our lives changed forever. There is a constant ache that never goes away.

Whenever Dustin would leave a room or before he hung up the phone he always said "Peace Out".

I just don't understand how it is possible to "carry on" without my child. For some reason (God only knows), I am left here, but I look forward to seeing my beloved son again in Heaven.

My hope is that all who visits Dustin's website will begin to know just a little bit how much he is loved and missed everyday. No matter how many words are written, web pages made, memorials posted, none of it can begin to describe the agony and heartache of losing your child.

Thank you for taking the time to visit. I hope you will visit often. This website will always be a "work in progress".

To everyone that has lost a child, sibling, grandchild or loved one, our prayer for you is that the Lord comfort you and give you peace.

Jeri

Dustin's mom forever

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